It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way

There comes a point in life when you realize: the government isn’t real. It’s a collective delusion. We have all agreed to respect it. Its enforcement may be real; it is not. It’s the difference between table and wooden rods supporting a flat plank. It’s road, not static river of asphalt, something we have drizzled… Continue reading It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way


Deadlines for Bygones

Lately I have been experiencing paranoia about food expiration. I sniff the milk every time. Sometimes I ask my roommates to sniff it as well. My search history includes when does and go bad an inordinate number of times. I always cook meat right away; I never freeze it because I don’t trust myself to… Continue reading Deadlines for Bygones

Blanket Statements

Every day on my walk to work, I pass the same three homeless people. First, outside Uprising Muffin Company, the thin, bearded man with inward-leaning legs, who sits holding an empty Starbucks cup. Sometimes it’s full of coffee. Second, the man on 12th Street whose massive pile of boxes serves as his bed, jutting several… Continue reading Blanket Statements


Not So Young

Everyone keeps telling us that we are so young. When they say that, I think about World War I. At twenty-three, I would have been a well-seasoned soldier. Or, of course, a well-seasoned nurse, stenographer, fiancée. War crosses my mind in these moments not out of morbidity but in some attempt to contextualize that word:… Continue reading Not So Young


Observations in the Harrison Municipal Court

1. The majority of people in this courtroom are chewing gum. This includes the court secretaries and the judge. 2. Lawyers are permitted to keep their phones. 3. Everyone else allegedly does not have a phone on their person. I sincerely doubt that this is the case. The court bouncer -- that is, the man… Continue reading Observations in the Harrison Municipal Court


#TBT to when iOS7 first came out

...and I wrote the following: Last week, a friend of mine upgraded to iOS7. It was a big deal in the sense that he first made me look at it on both his phone and his computer, then watch a seven-minute film about the new software, narrated by an intriguing British man who turned out… Continue reading #TBT to when iOS7 first came out


Hello world.

This is my first blog post. Blog is one of my least favorite words. To me, blog should mean a bloated bog, a place where knee-high boots are required and the occasional Stone Age cadaver is dredged up, having been spectacularly preserved by humic acid. I prefer "web-log." Similarly, I don't much like the word blogger, and… Continue reading Hello world.